#SingleWivesSA: Coaching 101

Coaches Mapaseka Mokwele and Justin Cohen help The Single Wives SA get back in the dating game

The Single Wives SA follows 6 previously married women who’re searching for a second shot at love. But they’re not alone on the journey, as hosts and relationship coach Mapaseka Mokwele and transformational coach Justin Cohen give them expert dating tips.

This dynamic duo act as the women’s fairy godparents and push them closer to finding their match. But there’s no magic spell – they have to put in the work to save themselves.

“While most dating shows focus on getting the guy, we’re about helping the women become the best versions of themselves. The Single Wives SA is about transformation,” explains Justin. “In fact, getting the guy is just the benefit of their self-actualisation.”

Set a reminder

The art of matchmaking

Because these women were married before – and haven’t been successful at finding love since – the hosts aid them with tools to overcome their relationship fears. “These women have been through tremendous adversities. The idea is that they break through those self-limiting beliefs [about themselves] and confront their insecurities and relationship needs,” explains Justin.

As a transformation coach, Justin usually works in the corporate field, where he provides professionals with techniques to raise their leadership performance, customer services or sales. On The Single Wives SA, he’s applying those same skills to help the ladies build their confidence and take on the dating world by a storm.

“The advice that I give the ladies is to fall in love with themselves first. Only when you’re really sure of your own value will you be open to others. If you’re uncertain about your self-worth, you won’t have the self-belief that’s necessary to go out there and find what it is that you’re looking for,” explains Justin, who is also an author and motivational speaker. “We can talk about their body language, tone of voice, and what they need to do on dates. But if they don’t believe that they’re worthy, they might end up sabotaging themselves and standing in their way of finding true love.”

Looking within

The Single Wives SA also involves the women holding themselves accountable, self-reflecting and working on their possible toxic traits that might be hindering their chances of meeting a potential partner. “We navigate this journey with them,” says Mapaseka. “The women have been out of the dating scene for a while, and we give them guidelines on where to go and how to get there.”

During this process of self-discovery, a relationship coach helps the cast to uncover what it is they seek from a partner. For instance, in one of the early episodes, the women jot down their relationship requirements and the hosts assist them in getting exactly that. “Coaching is performance-driven. We hone into who these ladies are, what they’re looking for, what they’re doing to find it, and the results that they’re getting. If they want a specific kind of man but keep getting the opposite, we sit them down and steer them in the right direction,” explains Mapaseka, who has a coaching practice.

“Unlike other dating shows, we don’t put two people on a date and leave them to figure it out by themselves. We do the work with them. Whether these women find love or not, by the end of the season, one thing is certain: they will discover themselves, which equips them to go out there and do great things.”


Walking away with more than they bargained for

During the 6 weeks of filming the show, the women live together and they form lasting friendships. “What I love about The Single Wives SA is that the women aren’t pitted against each other to create some form of conflict,” says Justin. “The show is still entertaining without all the chaos. I’m so proud of each of these women for putting themselves out there and revealing so much of themselves to the country.”

Watch The Single Wives SA S1, from Thursday, 3 September on M-Net (DStv 101) at 19:00

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